0 Vampire Dreams by Ashley Quebedeau

bloody lips dripping lushious ruby drops down her ivory mouth while her eyes sparkled like a trinket in a treasure chest when i look into a portrait of you i see  the midnight sky with a milky moon looking like scarlet roses scattering to the winds like a lullaby of forsaken music weaves its secretive enchantment into braclets of diamond snowflakes dancing and twinkling in the fairylight leaving  a silhouette of ultraviolet frost of smokey lace on your face like a ballet song of melancholy masquerading a feline grace of emerald pearls tangled into whsipers of desired kisses An illusion of silver satin tears of babys breath crystallised in your golden hair while phantom dreams and deadly nightshade tarnishes your dreamcatcher of fragments of silky feathers stitched into vibrant flames of tattered willows This dreamscape is the only vision that cascades a longing memory of your elegant embrace of this world and your love to me resides in your soul for only me.

0 Deprived my Wings by Ashley Quebedeau

My life is over and now here i am at the gates of heaven thinking while walking up the golden stairs that its my time to live in peace and not worry about anything else Yet when i get to the top my breathe is ataken seeing that im denied to come in My first thoughts are What did i do to not be in a great place like this? Then my thoughts hit me I indulged in the sins around me Knowing full well that i was a angel before hand and that i know right from wrong but my head and heart are not on the right path and this is what i get My wings taken away from me oh my precious wings that i loved so much that it shakes me to my very core Feeling ashamed of what ive done and nothing to take it back I weep for my shame and hopefully God will hear this and take me under his wings.

0 Broken Butterfly by Ashley Quebedeau

A young maiden stares straight into her vanity mirror Staring hard into the milky glass and she doesn't see her reflection but of someone totally different It shows this girl made from porcelain Never to break Never to have a fear Nor emotions at all but what people don't know that this maiden is made up of  smooth china Is finally chipping to the very  core of her being yet she trys to keep the mask on so selfishly where no one can see the tragedy she has gone through to overcome the obstacles in her life and at that same moment her past flashes before her remembering all the people who abused her and feeling her own heart succumbing to the dark side to fulfill the dreams she always wanted to be in this masked person until she finds out that she is alone in this ugly world   her fantasy world crumbles around her leaving her so called fantasy world a mess inside her mind trying to pick up the pieces that fell before her feet staring at each one with awe and amazement how she build this place inside her mind after the awe went away, her mind had to figure out if the pieces could be placed back together thats when things started to twist and tangle into this oblivion that leaves her mind so boggled she doesnt know what to do Each step she takes is a lacy web that untangles into billions of branched feelings and worlds that could or would be her so called home Step after step becomes a numbing ice to her heart and soul feeling each footstep becoming harder to move forward in this choas of worlds She trys to find out who she really is.... This monster she set herself up to be or this butterfly that can do what she wants and be free from everything that held her wings shut on her Yet these thoughts are confusing and breaking her soul to the very core weary days of thinking of death breaks her beat sets her back from the healing process till that one sparkling evening that she finally found herself in the hazy fog standing there...waiting for her to take the porcelian mask off and to be who she is which is this beautiful gothic butterfly with stitches covering her body wings ripped in places hair askewed everywhere that she runs to her vanity mirror once again ready to reveal who she is in this milky glass and sees that she has grown into this beautiful butterfly once and for all

0 Black Clouds by Ashley Quebedeau

black clouds drift over the full moon
leaving a shadow over this girl

leaving her to herself
in a world of chaos
thats somehow my own little world

yet i feel myself running around in my mind
and seeing walls 
that cage me inside this dead shell
called my body

why do i have to be so lost?
where did i go?
who did i become?

are mostly the questions that run through my mind
as the clouds cascade around my soul

leaving me feeling empty and broken
with no one to save me from myself

while questions swirl around in my head
leaving images of hurting myself 
and the urges of doing it over and over again

when there is no pain inside this zombie 
of a body i have

i think why should i hurt 
when i can take it out on myself

and then it dawns on me that 
i take anything thats sharp
and carve it in my arm

just so i can feel some relief 
in this upside down world of mine
and then the real me comes out of this
comatose alterpersonality

that the clouds erode away
to show a fragile girl
coming out of the darkness
and shining brightly for once in her life


but in the end when the girl 
is finally free from all the evilness 
she has done to herself
that theres no way to erase 
the damage i have done to myself

0 Broken Girl by Ashley Quebedeau

memories come up thinking why did it have to happen to me? my heart is broken so many times that i cant even pick up the pieces anymore thinking why should i go on with life when i feel like my soul was ripped out of me always walking around like a zombie in this hazy world i call mine To many years of being broken to many years thinking of what happened to many years of cutting so its time for me to pick my life back up and try to make the best of it and not thinking of the past but the future...of people who love me no more pain for me to take on no more tears to shed for anyone tired of being broken that its time to pick myself up and get on with life of what it should have been in the first place but when i look at my past i always wanted it to be so good with me being happy instead of being broken and not healing from everything happening so fast that my heart cant keep up with my mind always making me feel like im nothing when i can be something even in the future...but the past is so hard to let go all the memories pushing to the surface flashbacks hitting me from all sides not giving me a time to take a breathe from the ocean im sinking in from all the guilt,memories that have consumed me in this whirlpool call my pit of emptiness and sorrow Who can help me from drowning in my own thoughts? Who will save me from me hurting myself? Does anyone hear me?? Im screaming on the top of my lungs but it seems im a mute Trapped in my mind as a prisioner from hell No one to hear me No one to help me No one to know how much i hurt

0 Old Flames by Ashley Quebedeau

old flames spark your inner core once again somehow finding a way back into your heart and feeling like you dont want this old love affair to come back into your life somehow it sneaks back into your heart giving you the unexpected feelings again and leaves your heart searching through each chamber if the person you are with now is the one you want to spend the rest of your life with while these tangled web of lies fill your head you start to wonder what else is wrong with you and why these old feelings coming into play when you've forgotten these silly memories years ago so why are they back again?