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May 19, 2009

0 Vampire Dreams by Ashley Quebedeau

bloody lips dripping lushious ruby drops
down her ivory mouth
while her eyes sparkled like
a trinket in a treasure chest

when i look into a portrait of you
i see  the midnight sky
with a milky moon
looking like scarlet roses scattering to the winds

like a lullaby of forsaken music
weaves its secretive enchantment
into braclets of diamond snowflakes

dancing and twinkling in the fairylight
leaving  a silhouette of ultraviolet frost
of smokey lace on your face

like a ballet song of melancholy
masquerading a feline grace
of emerald pearls tangled into whsipers
of desired kisses

An illusion of silver satin tears
of babys breath
crystallised in your golden hair

while phantom dreams and deadly nightshade
tarnishes your dreamcatcher

of fragments of silky feathers
stitched into vibrant flames of tattered willows

This dreamscape is the only vision
that cascades a longing memory
of your elegant embrace of this world

and your love to me
resides in your soul
for only me.

0 Deprived my Wings by Ashley Quebedeau

My life is over
and now here i am
at the gates of heaven

thinking while walking up the golden stairs
that its my time to live in peace
and not worry about anything else

Yet when i get to the top
my breathe is ataken
seeing that im denied to come in

My first thoughts are
What did i do to not be in a great place like this?

Then my thoughts hit me
I indulged in the sins around me

Knowing full well that i was a angel before hand
and that i know right from wrong

but my head and heart
are not on the right path
and this is what i get

My wings taken away from me
oh my precious wings that i loved so much

that it shakes me to my very core
Feeling ashamed of what ive done
and nothing to take it back

I weep for my shame
and hopefully God will hear this
and take me under his wings.

May 3, 2009

0 Broken Butterfly by Ashley Quebedeau

A young maiden
stares straight into her vanity mirror

Staring hard into the milky glass
and she doesn't see her reflection
but of someone totally different

It shows this girl
made from porcelain

Never to break
Never to have a fear
Nor emotions at all

but what people don't know
that this maiden is made up
of  smooth china
Is finally chipping
to the very  core of her being

yet she trys to keep the mask on
so selfishly where no one can see
the tragedy she has gone through
to overcome the obstacles in her life

and at that same moment
her past flashes before her

remembering all the people who abused her
and feeling her own heart
succumbing to the dark side
to fulfill the dreams
she always wanted to be
in this masked person

until she finds out
that she is alone in this ugly world
her fantasy world
crumbles around her

leaving her so called fantasy world
a mess inside her mind

trying to pick up the pieces
that fell before her feet
staring at each one
with awe and amazement
how she build this place inside her mind

after the awe went away, her mind
had to figure out if the pieces could be
placed back together
thats when things started to twist and tangle
into this oblivion
that leaves her mind so boggled
she doesnt know what to do

Each step she takes
is a lacy web that untangles
into billions of branched feelings
and worlds that could or would be
her so called home

Step after step
becomes a numbing ice
to her heart and soul

feeling each footstep
becoming harder to move forward
in this choas of worlds

She trys to find out
who she really is....
This monster she set herself up to be
or this butterfly

that can do what she wants
and be free from everything that held
her wings shut on her

Yet these thoughts are confusing
and breaking her soul
to the very core

weary days of thinking of death
breaks her beat
sets her back from the healing process

till that one sparkling evening
that she finally found herself
in the hazy fog

standing there...waiting for her
to take the porcelian mask off
and to be who she is

which is this beautiful gothic butterfly
with stitches covering her body

wings ripped in places
hair askewed everywhere

that she runs to her vanity mirror once again
ready to reveal who she is
in this milky glass
and sees that she has grown
into this beautiful butterfly
once and for all

0 Black Clouds by Ashley Quebedeau

black clouds drift over the full moon
leaving a shadow over this girl

leaving her to herself
in a world of chaos
thats somehow my own little world

yet i feel myself running around in my mind
and seeing walls 
that cage me inside this dead shell
called my body

why do i have to be so lost?
where did i go?
who did i become?

are mostly the questions that run through my mind
as the clouds cascade around my soul

leaving me feeling empty and broken
with no one to save me from myself

while questions swirl around in my head
leaving images of hurting myself 
and the urges of doing it over and over again

when there is no pain inside this zombie 
of a body i have

i think why should i hurt 
when i can take it out on myself

and then it dawns on me that 
i take anything thats sharp
and carve it in my arm

just so i can feel some relief 
in this upside down world of mine
and then the real me comes out of this
comatose alterpersonality

that the clouds erode away
to show a fragile girl
coming out of the darkness
and shining brightly for once in her life

but in the end when the girl 
is finally free from all the evilness 
she has done to herself
that theres no way to erase 
the damage i have done to myself

0 Broken Girl by Ashley Quebedeau

memories come up
thinking why did it have
to happen to me?

my heart is broken so many times
that i cant even pick up the pieces anymore

thinking why should i go on with life
when i feel like my soul was ripped out of me

always walking around like a zombie
in this hazy world
i call mine

To many years of being broken
to many years thinking of what happened
to many years of cutting

so its time for me to pick my life back up
and try to make the best of it

and not thinking of the past
but the future...of people who love me

no more pain for me to take on
no more tears to shed for anyone

tired of being broken
that its time to pick myself up
and get on with life
of what it should have been in the first place

but when i look at my past
i always wanted it to be so good
with me being happy
instead of being broken
and not healing from everything happening so fast
that my heart cant keep up with my mind

always making me feel like im nothing
when i can be something
even in the future...but the past is so hard to let go
all the memories pushing to the surface

flashbacks hitting me from all sides
not giving me a time to take a breathe
from the ocean im sinking in

from all the guilt,memories
that have consumed me
in this whirlpool call my pit
of emptiness and sorrow

Who can help me from drowning
in my own thoughts?
Who will save me from me
hurting myself?

Does anyone hear me??
Im screaming on the top of my lungs
but it seems im a mute

Trapped in my mind
as a prisioner from hell

No one to hear me
No one to help me
No one to know how much i hurt

0 Old Flames by Ashley Quebedeau

old flames
spark your inner core once again

somehow finding a way
back into your heart

and feeling like you dont want this
old love affair to come back into your life

somehow it sneaks back
into your heart

giving you the unexpected feelings again
and leaves your heart searching
through each chamber
if the person you are with now
is the one you want to spend the rest of your life with

while these tangled web of lies fill your head
you start to wonder
what else is wrong with you

and why these old feelings
coming into play

when you've forgotten these
silly memories years ago
so why are they back again?