0 Dead to the World by Ashley Quebedeau

Hidden bubble thoughs pop into your shallow mind Only thinking of how to satisify your own needs Never considering what I wanted out of this relationship Did it ever occur to you that my heart was in this twisted maze of yours? Or was it your needs that just wanted me? Do you even love me? Or do you want another girl to replace the memories we've shared for awhile Is it my fault that I drive you into another girls arms Am I that kind of monster that you have to flee from me To relieve your pains on someone else instead of talking to me? I was infront of you all this time.....but I guess I was the invisible housemaid Just for you to wipe your shoes all over me Just for you to say I love you and dont really mean it The emptiness of those words make my heart turn to ice and to never trust anyone with my fragile heart and mind That you make me slip in and out of sanity from sometime now That its hard to tell whats real and what fiction You've turned my fantasy world into a barren cold land instead Seeing this poor fallen angel crying crimson tears for the heartache that has happened to her and can see the burdens all over her weary body wings turn to bits never to be repaired by human hands she raises her head to the sky and ask God why she has to hurt so much Why confusion has to set heavy in the pit of her stomach Why visible/invisible scars stay inside her mind When all this angel ever wanted was that one person to believe in her and pick her up from the tainted evil int he world To purify her body from the darkness that consumes her shaken body will that love ever come back ash she ponder on the open stars will anyone feel ow she feels lost,empty,confused in this maze called a world

0 Old memories of your tainted face by Ashley Quebedeau

Why do I feel hate and regret each time I see your face? You always said"You be there for me no matter what" HA that turned out to be a lie Everytime I went to you saying I wanted to cut myself You would look at me and say I dont have time for your petty problems...... Go to someone who cares That day you crashed my hopes into tiny shards of glass tainting them with acid so I couldnt pick the pieces up and put them back together You always wanted me to be around you to help you with your problems But in reality you put me down more than i needed. Why didnt YOU try to help ME??? Why didnt YOU stop MY SUFFERING???? Did you like seeing me in pain? Seeing me sad and without a voice? Why didnt you speak to me when i was upset?when my demons were attacking me Why didnt you try to help me fly away from those demons??? Did you really want me to stay chained to that miserable damp wall replaying those awful memories making me feel like im the bad man when in reality it was YOU!!!! YOU were the on tainting my soul drowning me in your own problems and never letting me up for air Was you scared that I would have a voice? Speak my mind and show how awful you was to me? Was that it?? Someone you can mess with try to own my heart,my thoughts Cuz you was never there for me when I though my world burnt down I have to many bad memories of you always seeing how you treated me All it did was make me more depressed feeling that i was alone in this world That no one could ever help me pick up these acid glass shards and make me whole Well your WRONG!!!!! I finally have that someone YOU ALWAYS WANTED Someone who would love you no matter what and help pick up your broken self and make you whole You will never have that if you keep up with your snotty self-pitied attitude People will leave you and you can feel that loneliness ive felt for years Inspired by Tourniquet by Evanescence...

0 This is fucked up...The story on Gallatin High School

Okay i found out through my mother that my old high school Gallatin High School in Gallatin,Tennessee had a rumor that gang members where going to come to school tomorrow Sept. 19, and shoot at the prep rally or at the homecoming game. All the kids where scared that they called their parents or texted them and got out of their.. Now whats fucked up is that the principal of the school is begging the kids to come to school tomorrow and that its safe to come. A..its not safe..I went to that school for 4 years and anyone could steal your id(which we had to wear/with our pic and name on it) and act like you and get through the school and can have a gun and no one will know about it.B. hes saying that its just a rumor and that the gang members are not going to go through with it. What the fuck is wrong with him...I know these gangs..Crips and Blood and they will definately kill anyone.. They have already threaten my sister..saying if she gets in the way they will shoot her..just to get revenge for their gang. Why would these people joke about this..its a real threat and the principal of the school wants to risk the lives of these children..and saying that they have security..HA no they dont..They have you can say RENT A COPS WITH NO GUNS..and dont have that many cops there with the thousand of kids that go there..so if this took place they wouldnt be able to take care of these kids. All this principal is doing is sweeping it under the rug and wants to make Gallatin High School look like its a safe school to go too..my mother caught him in several lies.. The reason he called my mother is saying that my sister has to make up two sessions of ESD(EXTENDED SCHOOL DAY) for kissing her boyfriend after shcool hours. Hes more concerned about that than this threat..and the other lie was that when he called her there was a FULL ASSEMBLY going at that time..bullshit..my dad flew at the school to get my sister and said it was dead... no one there except for cops.. so how could there be a full assembly going on??You tell me that. It just makes me freakin mad that the principal is worried about ESD,ISS,OR ANY OTHER DISCIPLINE FOR THE KIDS BUT NOT THE THREAT OF GANG MEMBERS. What the fuck.. you get to see how these fuckin hicks think..and its fuckin backwards. They dont care about these children..only that the school is open each and everyday. I would love it if someone will comment and tell me if this is right... and oh by the way the principal said that the PREP RALLY AND THE HOMECOMING IS STILL ON...thats messed up cuz thats when the gang members are really going to shoot..and thousands of people are going to be there.... its going to be another COLOBINE SHOOTING..and no one in that town wants to think there are any gang members in the county or any shootings gonna go on. I just wanted to clear my mind about this cuz it blows my mind away. Sorry for all the bad language and how long it is.. but its really is messed up... I have more common sense than any other hick there. Thanks for listening. Ashhy

0 Fairytale World by Ashley Quebedeau

Fairytale land had just crumble in this broken girls mind all the positive thinking ripped out of her mind and heart nothing to grasp on to nothing that has to do with reality and look into this ugly world knowing she's all alone in this evil and black world where her demons had shackled her to the wall and replay her awful memories but she knows that she can never rebuild her fairy tale world and this breaks her heart knowing that all her love is gone that despair and hate consumes her broken heart just to weave evil thoughts and dreams inside her soul and that this broken girl is a mere demon now.

0 Restless Soul by Ashley Quebedeau

Fragile minds crack so easily give into love and get heartache for what they have done let them wither away since no one wants to love them just to hurt their heart each and everyday why wander around this lousey world when no one want you in their lives You try to be happy and try to make the loved ones happy as well but thats just another failure another flaw to reflect back and see how stupid you've become just to see this screwed up person trying to live in a lalaworld that makebelievable stuff will come true when in reality its just more heartache and pain that will never go away To many scars on your arms and on your heart that your mind keeps swirling back to killing yourself and lay in that comfy coffin of yours and think, no one cared in the world and your better off this way Just to live lonely in your limbo world and to day dream about your broken dreams and slumber away under restless stars knowing that a happy ever after is never gonna come for you

0 Poem at midnight

She makes me happy
but I'm not happy with myself

She loves me unconditionally
but there's too many conditions for myself to think about

She loves me for who I am
but I want so much to be someone else

She loves me through it all
when I want to die and not think at all

She hugs me tight
when I have no idea what to do

She invisions me as a knight
when I can't even help myself

She loves me
And its a lot to think about

0 Difference

Different Dresses
Drapes her different life

Different perspectives
Shapes her different eyes

And in such differences
There beats a fantasy

A fantasy my heart yearns to be
In such a reality