*Disclaimer- This information is my own personal beliefs: I am not a medical professional; This information is not a substitute nor replacement for medical attention. Essay is “As is”.
New self verses old self? What is your old self?
Your old self is made up of: memories, patterns, reactions to incidents and how you process and handle the aftermath of those instances.
We are shaped by patterns: how we expect and accustomed ourselves to react to stimuli. I believe that what patterns we let into us, shapes us greatly. If we allow ourselves to be shaped by negative patterns, then we integrate that into who we are; in order to heal, we must break those patterns with positive ones. Examples are: If you allow people to beat you, don't let them beat you; if you allowed yourself to cuss, retrain yourself from cussing, if someone forced something upon you, don't let it have power, and so on. I believe that once a pattern develops, once you let it occupy time in your life and have power, it will take just as much time to recover from it: don't let it consume you for so long, or at all.
The only way I can see you overcoming it sooner is, register within yourself that you are a completely different person, take the steps that will convince you that your different and tell yourself: you will react differently to the toxic choices you've been making. Then do it. If you can register inside yourself that you are, indeed, a new person; see yourself reacting differently, then I think you can heal faster and not relapse as much.
Relapsing is normal, we all do it, don't let it cause you to forget that you can change. Sometimes we feel hopeless and like our lives are stuck down an irreversible path, we aren't though. When one relapses, think of all the different choices you've made, concentrate on the positive side of yourself, do something completely different then you would have before.
How we react to situations is very important, they define and show proof of who we are: when we fall, we fall hard; when we succeed, we have memories to solidify who we have become. Next time you are tested, show yourself who you are by not falling back into your patterns: it's hard and new choices have new consequences. The whole idea of changing your choices is to break the pattern you've developed.
How you react to the choices you've made is very important: don't let a fall, a negativity, semi-truths and semi-lies shape who you are. How you deal and handle your choices, what you learn from it, is quintessential to your personalities makeup. Decide what you want to incorporate and disregard. We are, what we are. We are, what we believe ourselves to be.
In order to become someone new, you've got to improve yourself where you can rely on your own. You have to be-able to be yourself regardless of whose in your life. You got to be self-sufficient. It's very wonderful to have people lift you up, but you got to stay up on your own two feet. You have to acknowledge that you've changed with substantial proof: proof that will prove to you, you are not completely the same anymore. You have to spend time fighting yourself, until you are victorious. When the effort put into solving the problem exceeds the effort that made it, I believe you will be better. My final words are: it's imperative to remove yourself or take away the destructive lifestyle to recover.
Ideas you can do to help yourself:
Learn and do something new, outside and inside of your element: define new patterns for yourself.
Make a new friend to let you explore your new side more easily.
Try a different appearance out: one that matches who the new you is.
Write a story involving the new you in a fantasy: explore the instances that defined your old self.
Express your emotions in a dairy or poetry: describe how you wish you handled the situation.
Make a list of goals to work on, then work on them.