Currently, my saddest moments are an accumulation of moments which has followed me into today, and the next. Money can't buy happiness, but financial securely can create less problems in your life. Most of my problems are financial- the others are mostly medical. When you don't have a job due to health, have to watch your life crumble around you- you come to understand what fabric you are made of. When you have disabilities, your life is falling apart, have no money or job, dependent upon family for help- which subtly degrades you and are passive aggressive- you come to realize how much value there is in character.
It is hard to be yourself when you have nothing to hold onto but faith, that things will get better, that God will come around and has a plan. Your character and fabric gets tested a lot, you start to doubt things you have always held as true, and you wonder if things will always be the same, if not worst. It is very difficult to depend on people that don't want to help you, that plays mind games with you- and you realize that your life is temporarily dependent upon them. These are the demons I bare, and hopefully they will make me a stronger individual- not a destitute one.